Deep Thoughts

I can't seem to get my days totally organized. Seems I wake up in a hurry, get myself and Luke ready in a hurry, go to work in a hurry, work (pump three times), leave work in a hurry, pick him up and give him a million hugs and kisses and head home in a hurry because he doesn't like the carseat now. Then, I unload his bag, my pump, put on comfy clothes, wash the pump, make the bottles for the next day. Finally, we sit down and play. Whew. Oh -- and sometimes, if we're lucky, we make dinner in there somewhere. Laundry? Yeah right. Vacuum? Who needs it? And, poor Max -- maybe I should give him the rest of my Zoloft for his doggy depression.

While I'm at work, all I can think about is what Luke's doing -- am I missing him rolling over? Am I missing him make a new noise? Did he drink all of his bottles? Did he poop two times or not at all? Did he sleep two hours today or four? Does he think I've left him each morning? Am I a good mother? What can I do better?

I know I'm not the only working mother in the world (shoot -- my mom worked, and we're fine!), but I hope I've made the right decision to return to work. It's definitely one I struggle with daily. Funny how things happen -- I'm getting promoted this month, and all I think about is when I get to leave the office to pick him up.